Top Ten Ways You Could Have Spent Your Share of the Bailout Money

March 24, 2009

10. Questionably safe waverunner from eBay

9. 6,250 Snack Packs

8. Round-trip, five-day, all-inclusive vacation for two to New Zealand

7. Materials for home-made bomb shelter

6. Illinois senate seat

5. Five bottles of Cristal Champagne/2,500 bottles of Olde English 800

4. 772 Shares of General Motors

3. 1993 Nissan Sentra, gunmetal blue, barely driven

2. 39,000 Japanese bottle rockets

1. Paying off a fraction of your student loans