Dear Geeking Out:
I was hoping to choose my next boyfriend based on which lunch table he sat at during high school. Any Suggestions?
Sincerely, Imaginary Questioner
Thank you for your excellent imaginary question, Imaginary Questioner. There are a lot of ways I could deal with this. Jocks, goths, popular kids, and stoners all have their pros and cons. But I’m going to go in a different direction: you should date a fanboy.