The Quotable...

“Any reference in this regulation to a regulation is a reference to a regulation contained in this regulation.” - Banking Act of 1979, Appeals Procedure Regulation 

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Top 10 RandomThoughts For Random People

Ten.

If you haven’t watched the first season of House of Cards, that’s an easy way to de-stress. Some people have watched all the episodes in more than 10 hours. Try not to focus on the fact that you used 10 hours of study time to watch television. That will make you more relaxed.

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Kosmo’s Random Advice for Law Students

Q: I look in the mirror, and I don’t like how I look. What should I do? —Uglyduck.

     Dear Uglyduck,

        Either you need to be more self-confident, or you have deeper issues. But, if you want to like your looks when you look in the mirror, I suggest pasting a picture of your favorite celebrity on your mirror so that whenever you look at it, you like what you see. Granted, you won’t see yourself, but that solves your problem. If that doesn’t work, I suggest counseling or exercising. 

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Kosmos' Health Advice

Dear Kosmos,

Q: How do you stay motivated to go to the gym and work out?

        That’s an easy question. I go in search of my next hot date. People love to see their partners toned up and ready to go. I just rob some shiny oil on my body, and once I see a potential hot date coming, I jump on a treadmill, and that’s my exercise for the day. Pretty swell.

Q: How can I stay awake?

     You should get enough sleep. But if that is not possible, I would recommend drinking 5 cups of coffee a day, 3 bottles of Five-Hour Energy, and 4 cups of anything else that contains caffeine. You won’t be able to go to sleep for a while, and you will have time to study and socialize with people.

Q: I try to cook my own food so as to save money, but I despise what I make. Any suggestions?

         That’s pretty easy. Get a recipe book and follow directions. However, I have heard that there are people who have an aversion to being near the kitchen or making anything. If you are that type of person, you should make close friends with people who cook so that you can always visit them for free food. Don’t forget that there are lots of free food events, and you can sign up for the “freefoodlistserv.”

Q: How do I keep my concentration without taking drugs?

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Where Do You Find Meaning?

1. Within the fortune cookie at your favorite Asian restaurant. If you wanted luck, this would be a good choice. But if you are seeking answers, a fortune picked at random by a total stranger would not be the answer.

2. A fortune teller. You may be able to divine the path of your soul from their predictions. But be aware that they tell the same thing to everyone that can pay their fees.

3. Philosophy. It can help you gain knowledge and understand of the meaning of life for others, but you may go raving mad to the point of losing it.

4. The rising sun. It can be a motivation to start life anew, but don’t become a roasted potato.

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