Q: How do you stay motivated to go to the gym and work out?
That’s an easy question. I go in search of my next hot date. People love to see their partners toned up and ready to go. I just rob some shiny oil on my body, and once I see a potential hot date coming, I jump on a treadmill, and that’s my exercise for the day. Pretty swell.
Q: How can I stay awake?
You should get enough sleep. But if that is not possible, I would recommend drinking 5 cups of coffee a day, 3 bottles of Five-Hour Energy, and 4 cups of anything else that contains caffeine. You won’t be able to go to sleep for a while, and you will have time to study and socialize with people.
Q: I try to cook my own food so as to save money, but I despise what I make. Any suggestions?
That’s pretty easy. Get a recipe book and follow directions. However, I have heard that there are people who have an aversion to being near the kitchen or making anything. If you are that type of person, you should make close friends with people who cook so that you can always visit them for free food. Don’t forget that there are lots of free food events, and you can sign up for the “freefoodlistserv.”
Q: How do I keep my concentration without taking drugs?
1. Within the fortune cookie at your favorite Asian restaurant. If you wanted luck, this would be a good choice. But if you are seeking answers, a fortune picked at random by a total stranger would not be the answer.
2. A fortune teller. You may be able to divine the path of your soul from their predictions. But be aware that they tell the same thing to everyone that can pay their fees.
3. Philosophy. It can help you gain knowledge and understand of the meaning of life for others, but you may go raving mad to the point of losing it.
4. The rising sun. It can be a motivation to start life anew, but don’t become a roasted potato.