Tina Talks: Advice for Law Students

Dear Tina,

I got mistaken for a different Asian person AGAIN yesterday.  Why does this keep happening to me?  Why can’t so many non-Asian people tell Asian people apart?  WHY?!?

Sincerely,

Asian and Irritated

Dear Irritated,

Good question.  You may be my first reader to officially stump me with their problem.

I have no cause or solution to offer up.  My only advice is an insult to your injury, a great big squeeze of lemon juice and a dash of salt on your wound: since your fellow human beings can’t be bothered, it’s obviously on you to differentiate yourself as a distinct individual.  Perhaps wear a multi-colored clown wig.  Then you can be “that wacky Asian person in a wig,” and you only have to worry about being mistaken for other clowns (a much smaller demographic).

These aren’t the Asian people you’re looking for. Photo from kennymatic’s photostream on flickPerhaps you can escalate your role into that of saboteur.  Those who cannot tell Asian people apart are statistically more likely to assume you have “Asian” skills they don’t, and will believe you’re from any country that you say that you are.  Learn how to say, “I am an ignorant a-hole,” and then offer to teach them Korean.  Tell them you’re a ninja, teach them nun chucks, and then watch them pick a fight and lose.  It’s not your job to educate the person that’s adding that extra dose of crappiness to your day.

If I were going to be more insensitive than I surely am already being, I would say you might have to accept that this is just another way that people will generally continue to suck and disappoint you.  While disappointment in mankind is a sentiment that knows no racial bounds, it’s an indisputable fact that I benefit from being white all the time, making the aforementioned comment an extra-ridiculous thing for me to say, and therefore I didn’t say it.

I did, however, consult my very own personal Asian advisor, who had this to say:

1. If you make a fool of yourself, those who can’t tell Asian people apart won’t remember it was you.
2. You can choose your community in some ways — you can choose to be around people who won’t do this.  You can choose to move to a place where there are lots of Asians/other people of color and where people can tell Asians apart.
3. To cheer you up: Yo, Is This Racist?

Let me know if we just made things better or worse (or meh?!?),

Tina

P.S. Do you think you can give better advice than I do every week? I’d like to see you try. Email me @ Christine.Sigurdson@gulawweekly.org for a guest spot on Tina Talks.