Top Ten Things that Are More Important to Work on than Outlines

1. Your tan (by the way, EJF is auctioning off tanning sessions).
2. Quadratic equations.
3. Relive the LSAT (on the Events page).
4. Improving your “Scramble With Friends” score. “Words With Friends” was so last year. Also, I’m not good at WWF, so let’s all switch to this new game I can actually win. Thanks.
5. Beating that weirdly fast old guy who always runs around the same time you run, but who almost exactly matches your pace every time―you can’t pass him, but he also never quite passes you, and you’re just locked in this zone of awkwardness staring at his spandex shorts slowly riding up for minutes at a time.
6. Better Wi-Fi! More jobs! Less academic stress! Oh wait, nevermind. According to every SBA candidate’s mission statement, all of those issues will be totally fixed next year.
7. Buying gifts for your friends who happen to be campus journalists, and who happen to be female and Asian, and who also happen to be me. I love gifts.
8. The slow, growing realization that famous people your age are no longer prodigies or exceptional for their age but actually just regular successful people because you’re an adult now. Soon, bartenders will stop carding you and you’ll have to get a real job and you’ll probably move out to the suburbs and maybe join an intramural bocce league and you might even take up golf and then you’ll die.
9. Job applications. Because let’s face it, if you don’t start working on your outlines soon, it’s not like your grades are going to get you anywhere.
10. Counting to 10.